Random stuff I feel like writing....

Arguing is just plain stupid. I HATE when you want to end a argument so you say "drop it" or "stop talking" and that person DOESN'T stop, but Oh Lord if the roles are switched GOD FORBID you keep talking you'll end up with someone screaming at you to "shut up" and/or "leave me the hell alone." Things from the past get brought up time and time again because there's never closure. In order to move on you have to actually get it all out of your system which is hardly ever the case for me. I just can't seem to get it all out because it always ends in getting screamed at. I've learned to just suppress my anger and try to hide what's bothering me because it just seems like I can never finish saying how I feel or finish asking the questions I want answers to without someone telling me to "stop talking." I'm not allowed, basically, but they are. They're allowed to keep talking when I'm done, they're allowed to get everything off of their chest. It's just not freaking fair! I swear if I didn't have this stupid blog I'd probably explode with rage. If one day you see a pink Hulk terrorizing the city, just assume I've stopped writing in my blog.

This blog has done me wonders. It lets me vent when I have "no one" else to vent to. It's pretty much my diary I guess... only people can read it and I don't have to worry about losing it. HA! Diary... I tried those things when I was growing up. I sucked at them! LOL I would either lose them or just forget about them. To this day I still can't find any of them, either. I bet the underwear gnomes stole them! (South Park, for those who don't get the underwear gnomes thing and I don't even like South Park too much) Anyways, I'm a little annoyed, obviously which is usually when I write. I always feel the urge to write only when I'm angry, annoyed... all the negative emotions basically. Why? I have no clue. I guess it makes me feel better, even if I'm not writing about what my issues are. I highly doubt anyone wants to read about my frustrations... even though usually I hint to them, I guess.

Anyways, my cousin comes Saturday! SATURDAY! That's like... 3 days away! I haven't seen this guy in like 4 or 5 years! It's gonna be so crazy to see how much we've both changed! I hope it won't be awkward, which it might, especially since him and Chris have yet to meet or even speak! Oh well, they're family so they'll have to just get over that!

Anyways... again, I have some friends who are only friends when it's convenient for them. That's really annoying. I've put A LOT into trying to maintain a friendship with these people. I'm ALWAYS there for them day or night and it seems when I need them they're never available. No matter what I'm doing I drop it for them when they're upset, or bored, or just want to talk. Why don't they do this for me? It's really annoying that it seems that I can only find people like that. Of course, I do have one or two people I can rely on no matter what. I understand with school and work and if you have children then them, too, but this person in particular ALWAYS has some drama. She's always talking to me about this and that, but when I need someone, she's never there. She doesn't respond to the texts or anything. She claims I'm her "best friend" which is great and all, but how can I consider her mine when she's never around when I need her. She has no job and doesn't go to school, doesn't even have a kid and yet she's never around to talk to. In a digital age it shouldn't be THAT hard to keep in contact. Texting has made it where a person is available pretty much 24/7 and yet... nothing from her. I should really learn to pick who I want to have as a "best friend" status a little better. The past three people I've considered my best friends have been this way, too. Do they suck? Or maybe it's just me? Could be both, who knows.

I guess that's enough for now.