It's been a while since I've written..... months, actually. Sorry for that. Been dealing with a lot of crap. From trying to reconcile with in laws (which I haven't completely done...), to stupid brother in laws getting in trouble again, to Chris being gone and not coming home on weekends anymore, to sister in laws planning pregnancies without a job and with a guy who is 20, divorced with two other kids he doesn't take care of. There's been a lot. None that I can.. or should go into much detail on a blog. I'd be like Pringles, once I pop I won't stop. That, and I just don't want to tell 7 billion strangers (well, I know there aren't that many people on the internet, but there's at least that many in the world) anymore of my business. I'm done ranting about that because I say the same crap every time. LOL I'll save the ranting on here for stuff I can't say to anyone else. LOL
Not that anyone cares about my life, but really I don't have much else to write about. Things in the world don't bother me too much.. unless they affect me. Maybe I could use this as a book review blog. I've read a lot and hoping for Christmas I get a few more (Amazon wish list for those who want to get me something! LOL) Maybe I could post some pictures, too. Sounds like fun! I'll start with Water for Elephants... haven't quite finished it yet, so I'll dedicate a whole post to it once i'm done. :-)
Oh! And I have a job now! FINALLY! Go me! Although, they don't like to give me many hours. Which sucks, because I'd like a little more... Oh well.
Of course, as usual. LOL My parents just got a pool and since I'm living with them for now, it's pretty much like I just got a pool. Well, that means people who I haven't talked to and haven't been good friends with since I moved away and back are deciding to come out of the wood works. Sorry, not happening. Get your own damn pool!
And another thing, my stupid sister in law. LOL I'm over the dumb BS that happened, but it doesn't mean I want to be around her. Apparently, she's invited herself to come swimming but she says "she has to wait until the weekend." I got news for you, it ain't happening. I can tolerate you very shortly, but not enough to be buddy-buddy with you in a pool. Sorry, maybe should've thought about that before you acted like an asshat. Again, get your own damn pool... because Lord knows you're gonna wanna bring your dumbass, good for nothing, boyfriends and whore yourself out in the pool. Sorry, we don't want your damn fluids floating around. You're not welcome and you should've figured that out way before hand. Family or not, you did me wrong and I won't reward your stupidity, instead you can spend your summers inside your house a good 20 minutes away, just the way I like it. And you better believe I'll tell you this straight to your face the moment you openly state it to me. But telling your friends on Facebook and hoping I'll read it is a start.... LOL
I hate, hate, HATE when people invite themselves over or just assume I invited them or am going to invite them. In my eyes, that's an automatic HELL TO THE FUCKING NO! Try asking next time :-)
And we know it....... Okay, so maybe we don't. And maybe it's not really the end of the world, but I feel like mine is coming crashing down around me.
It seems like nothing in my life can go my way. It's good for a while then BAM back to crappy. Just when I can pull myself to the summit of my mountain sadness and begin to be happy, BAM, here it comes knocking at my door. I try to ignore it, try to push past it. I'm a stronger person than this, but I just can't seem to do this on my own. The one person I need most can't be there for me like I need them to be and in turn I feel like that part of my world is slowing drifting away from me. Maybe it's not and he's assured me it's not, but it still feels like it is.
I need to face the facts: I'm depressed. That's all there is to it. I keep denying there's something wrong, I need to acknowledge it and get the help I need. But there's a problem, I don't want help... medical help is getting put on anti-depressants. I don't want pills. I don't want to lie in a stupid chair and share my feelings with some random man or woman. I don't really even want to share them with you. I want to hide it all from everyone, including myself. I want to hide my tears and put on my happy face. I want to put on my big girl panties. If you ignore things they go away, right? Who am I kidding? It won't go away, not until I face it head on and hit back. The only way I can do this without medical folks is with the help of my loved one(s).
It's so hard for me to think someone wants to be with me forever. I'm waiting for the day he realizes what kind of crazy person I am and just leave. I don't want him to and I didn't marry him thinking he would, but my mind isn't into thinking positive. With every fight or argument, I feel like he's just one step closer to making that move. The tone in his voice, the way that he looks at me. It just looks like the end will come. When we're happy, I see love when I look at him, but when we're fighting all I can see is anger and hate and I just cry. I hate having the person I love the most look at me like they hate me, to watch me cry and not even care. To be okay with me crying, it hurts. I wish it was like the movies where the girl cries and the guys shows he cares or shows he doesn't want you to cry, but it's not like that and I guess that's why it's in the movies. I'm just tired of crying without someone to comfort me. I feel more alone when I'm standing right there in front of them crying than I would if I was actually alone.
All my life I've had to cry alone, to hide it. No one cared if I cried, no one would even ask why. I know I have a few friends and they're great, but it's different. I want someone who I love and who loves me to care enough to put aside and bullshit and just love me when I'm in tears and looking a mess. That's all there is to it. My friends love me and I love them, but it's a different kind of love. As much as I want to hide my tears, deep down, I want someone there a whole lot more.
It all stems from my mom. She's a drinker and likes to use me as her verbal punching bag when she's intoxicated enough. Her latest was, in a nutshell: I won't be a good mother, I settled for my husband, and she actually went old school... and by old school I mean elementary school, and made fun of me. Anyone got a Mother of the Year award for her? If my own mother can say things like that to me, sober or not, how could someone tolerate being with me forever. She said it when she was drunk so I shouldn't listen to her.. that's what they all say. Drunk or not, it's not excuse. Ever hear the saying, "Drunk words are sober thoughts?" Thought so.
What I need more than anything right now is love and affection and today (which is probably why I'm having a down day) I didn't feel a whole lot of that at all. Given my state of emotion, it's crucial that I feel that, because, well, living this close to my mom and dealing with her isn't good for me mentally, physically, or emotionally. To make matters worse, I just can't escape it. I'm back to how I was before I moved out to California. I look forward to every Friday when he pulls up in the driveway and dread that stupid good-bye again every Sunday, but those two-ish days I'm at peace. I'm happy again, but when things go the way today/tonight did it brings me down faster than anything else.
I hate crying and being sad, but I can't help but feel like EVERY. SINGLE. PIECE. of my little world is just crumbling and all I can do is stand there and watch it fall and when it's all said and done try to put all the pieces back together. Sure, I'll be missing some pieces, no doubt, but I feel like slowly but surely the most important piece will be gone. My feelings always get in the way. They're stupid feelings, but I can't help that. It's little things that I think are really unimportant, but to him, they might be. He might want those things in his life so bad he's eventually going to just kick me to the curb. Or better yet, just have those things and hope I never find out. I hope and think he'd rather have me than those things, but there's always those other options.
I'm not the same person I used to be. Not with this huge monster hanging around. I want out of it. I want to be happy again, all the time. Not just the weekends. I want out of this funk. I don't want medications; I don't want to talk to a therapist; and I don't want to feel like I'm crazy. I'm in a very, very bad point in my life right now and I'm tired of pretending I'm not. I keep it from everyone because I don't want to feel this way. I'm actually embarrassed to say any of this, really. But I have no where to go and no one to talk to.. that I want to talk to. I don't want people to see me cry. I'm stronger than this. What happened to the person who didn't care, who didn't cry.
I just want to be me again. I'm happy with Chris, he makes me happy. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I'd be alive. And I say that with complete honesty. He is the person who keeps me going, but when that person becomes one who's pushing me down with the rest of them and hurting me I go spiraling back down to where I started, not quite rock bottom but going deeper and deeper. Sure, it was only one day, but when you're as fragile as I have become (by my own fault, shoulda nipped this in the bud in the beginning... this is what I get for trying to ignore things), one little thing can make a HUGE difference. There's more to my issues than just this, but this is just what's recently... and I mean in the past 24 hours... brought back my issue, er, depression. I hate that word.
*Sorry for it being so long, whether you read this far or not, I don't care. I'd really rather you not have, but it is what it is. I had to get it off my chest. When there's no one I want to tell it to, my blog is the one who listens. I know there are some out there who read it who would be willing to listen, but writing makes it so much easier to put my thoughts into order.
*For the record, no, I didn't settle for my husband. Why would I settle for someone at 18? I had a good 10 years to even worry about getting married. Sometimes you just know when it's the right person. And when they're right, why wait? And her telling me I'll be a bad mother only motivates me more to be a better mother than she EVER was/is.
*Excuse the typos, grammatical errors, punctuation mistakes, etc. I wrote this crying on and off and at 3 in the morning.
I'll never understand how a person can abuse an animal. How can someone look at that sweet little face and beat them? How can they watch them suffer in starvation and dehydration? How can you put your dog through a dog fight and beat it or starve it (or both) when it doesn't win. How can someone sexual abuse an animal? That's almost the most disgusting of all.
How can someone who butchers for a living treat the animals like crap. I get it they're going to die anyways, but why make their life worse than it already is? Animals aren't dumb, they know it's coming. How can someone wear fur and ignore the torture the animal that wore it first went through. They're skinned alive, for the most part, if you didn't know. Have you never educated yourself on where it comes from? Or what you eat comes from? It's disgusting. I eat meat, but mostly try and meat that comes from natural farms.
I don't get how there are so many disgusting people in this world. Is it bad that I care less about human on human crime than I do for human on animal crime? Animals don't have a voice. People are their voice. I hate that there are so many animals out there being treated as disposable. There's so many homeless and so many dying each day because of the stupidity of the human race. I wish I could save them all. I just don't understand how someone can look at a living breathing thing and find joy in killing it and the most brutal ways they can think of. I'm not against hunting, as long as it's used properly (eating the meat and using the fur), but why make them suffer?
Why get a puppy and then ditch it as soon as it gets older because it's not a cute puppy anymore? A pet is a commitment, like a child. You wouldn't send your kid off to be adopted if you were moving would you? No, you'd take them with you because they're part of your family. Why can't you do that for your pets? When you move, make arrangements for them as well, or if you HAVE to give them up make sure they don't go to just any joe schmoe. Take the time to make sure they go to a loving, forever home.
Get your pets fixed and adopt if you want a new pet. You can find full bred dogs at the pound/humane society for much cheaper than buying from a breeder, in case you didn't know. And there's also rescues for certain breeds. Those dogs and cats are the most appreciative animals I've ever known. They know you saved them. Get an old dog, sure it'll die sooner than a puppy, but why not give it the best last few years of its life as you possibly can? I guess I just have a soft spot, yea, puppies are cute, but they'll be adopted oldies may not and they'll spend their last days wondering where their family went or why they're being punished. I know not everyone sees it the same as me, and that's really sad, but I always think about this stuff.
People thing PETA and the ASPCA are just extremists, but it happens. It doesn't happen in just third world countries, a lot of it happens right here in the USA, but you turn a blind eye because you don't want to face the facts. It may not happen as much as PETA and ASPCA like to portray, but it happens enough and it needs to stop.
*sigh* just a rant/thought. Things will only get worse though. The world is going to crap.
Nights like this really make me wonder if the 2012 phenomena is really true. In the Bible, there are so many signs of the end and coincidentally a lot of those things are happening now. Earthquakes and floods like no other, wars breaking out all over the world, an increase in the wickedness of man, the list goes on and on. Most of all, the Bible says people won't believe the signs. This is all happening as we speak. Japan has had two earthquakes (huge earthquakes, might I add) in two days, China has also had earthquakes recently. Tsunami warnings all over the world.. the flooding. Wars are threatening all over the world (North/South Korea, Libya, Afghanistan, etc)
This is scary. I'm not ready for the world to end. I have so much I want to do before it's over and a year and a half is not a lot of time. I know no one knows exactly WHEN it will end, but there are signs. I hate to be one of those crazy people who have been out on the street corners wearing "the end is near" signs on their bodies, but really, it's never been like this before in my time. I pray it's not the end, although I know He will take us when he's ready. I know to trust God's decisions in life and to trust we'll be okay.
I'm watching live feed of all this happening and it's just so surreal. I'm watching as a oil refinery burns and I am one of probably few that realize there are people trapped inside there and probably burning alive. Buildings have collapsed on people, one of which have died... and that's just for now there's gonna be more. I need to stop psyching myself out. All these signs could mean the "end" is near, sure, but when. That's the question. It could be tomorrow, it could be in a year, it could be in a hundred years. Who knows what God's meaning of "near" really is. We don't and all we can do is make sure we're good people and that we've accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
Day 30- A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
Dear Me,
I'd like to start by saying, I love lamp. And actually, I think I'll finish it with that. I've already said what I love so this is stupid. Also, who writes letters to themselves? Okay, plenty of people do, but not this chica! Wait, I think I just did...
Love Me.
Day 29- Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
I hope to change my education status. I think it's disgusting that I only have a high school diploma and I'm not in the process of getting a degree. I know I'll definitely change that about me, but yea.
One more day left!
Day 28- What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
If I got pregnant I'd be pretty shocked, but since I'm married I'd end up being kinda happy, I guess. I'd also probably be terrified. If I got someone pregnant, I'd definitely be freaked out and I'd donate my body to science to figure out how a female could do that.... especially because the only person I would be able to get pregnant would be my husband and in that case I'd be just as freaked out with him as myself.
Day 27- What’s the best thing going for you right now?
I don't really have anything wonderful going for me right now. I only see my husband on the weekends, I'm not in school, and I don't have a job. Yay for my life.... I'm looking for a job and failing because the economy sucks and I refuse to work weekends. I don't want to start school until I know where I'm going to be. From what I've heard from other changing schools is ridiculous at times, depending on what you're going for so I'd rather just stick with one school. Husband is in school and living with his aunt while I'm at my parent's house in Georgia for at least another year.
Day 26- Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Earlier in my teenage years, yes. My mom basically made me feel like I was nothing and shouldn't be alive. She told me a few times to kill myself, as well. I guess hearing it from my own mother really made me consider it. because typically, a mother wouldn't EVER say that to her child.. or at least that's what I thought.
Day 24- Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
This one is stupid. I can't really make a playlist... or I just don't want to put in the time to make one. LOL
Day 25- The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
I have some people up in Heaven looking over me and protecting me.
Day 22- Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
I wish I hadn't dated all the guys I did. It was pointless, but it lead me to where I am today, so that's a plus.
Day 23- Something you wish you had done in your life.
I still have time to do what I want, but as a kid I wish I had actually let myself have fun at Disney World. LOL
Day 21- (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
It depends on how serious the accident was and if they're hurt. If it was a fender bender, probably nothing just thank God it wasn't worse. If they were critically injured I'd pray for them to recover and do whatever I can to make them comfortable. If they died and I didn't get a chance to make peace I'd feel really crappy for a while, but I'd eventually get over it because I know my friend wouldn't want me to punish myself for something like that.
Day 20- Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Illegal drugs are stupid just as things like beer. I don't really see a point in drinking empty calories. Wine, on the other hand, is actually healthy for you if you drink a glass a day. Hard liquor, again, is kind of stupid. I'm past the whole "let's drink to get drunk" stage which is really all hard liquor is for, in my opinion... I don't think I really even had one of those. Alcohol and illegal drugs are just kind of stupid. We don't have bad water to drink so there's no need for it anymore. Pretty crazy for an almost-21 year old to say, but I guess I'm just more mature than other people.
Prescription or over-the-counter drugs are fine as long as they're used for the right reasons and not abused.
Day 19- What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Religion: I definitely believe in God. I've read about other religions other than what I follow and I do think some religions have plausible thoughts and ideas about life and how we were formed. I also do think science is onto something, but in the end things don't just pop out of no where and the things don't really happen out of no where. I think God is the one who makes certain things happen (like the Big Bang). So sure, science could very well be right about the Big Bang, but what made the Big Bang happen? I think that was God's doing. Nothing any scientist can change that God could've very well made it happen. I don't think one religion is right or wrong because who really knows that?
Politics: They're poppy-cock! LOL I don't have a specific party I "belong" to. During debates, I agree with anyone, really. Sometimes all sides propose good ideas and I can't choose. However, most of the time I find them extremely boring so I don't typically follow anything other than Presidential Elections and even then, I don't follow them very much. LOL
Day 18- Your views on gay marriage.
Gays have been around way before I was. I don't necessarily AGREE with it, but I don't disagree either. It doesn't have any affect (affect? or effect? I can't ever get it right) on what I do with my life. As long as they're not shoving it down my throat I could care less.
Day 17- A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
The only thing I can say to this is The Bible.
Day 16- Someone or something you definitely could live without.
As of right now, I could definitely live without my sister-in-law. Everyone has "one of those" in their family, and she's one of them. LOL There's tons of things and people I could live without though, but she's just one that stands out the most at this point in time. :-)
Day 14- A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Not writing a letter.... The only person I would really consider my hero would be my dad. He hasn't done a whole lot of extravagant things in his life, none worth being dubbed a hero for, but he's my daddy. He's never let me down. I've been bad, but he's always been there to show me I was wrong. We have hardly ever had any type of altercations (I could probably count on one hand how many fights we've had). So in short, I don't have a hero that's let me down.
Day 15- Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
I can't live without a dog. Man's best friend, in my case, woman's best friend. They're always there for you. They can sense your mood and they live to please you! I've always had a dog in my house and on the few occasions I haven't (old dog dying and when a few ran off for a few days) I was pretty bummed. They bring so much joy to my life, especially now that I'm without my husband 5 out of 7 days of the week. Without my puppies, my life would probably suck and I'd feel more alone than ever.
Day 13- A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
I'm not going to write a letter, but I have a few bands that got the through it. Simple Plan was probably the biggest one. A lot of their songs had something to do with whatever I was going through. Also, Theory of a Deadman. I can relate to what so many singers have sung about (is sung a word? brain fart) that I can't say only one has "helped" me through anything.
Day 12- Something you never get compliments on.
Other than Chris, nobody really compliments me on anything anymore. I really don't care and probably don't notice it if they do. LOL I don't really need compliments, they're nice but if they're not given it's not the end of the world.
Day 11- Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Simple. My eyes. Apparently I have pretty eyes. LOL I think they're okay looking, myself. I like that they're blue and I have dark brown hair. That's perty, to me. :-) But what people don't know is behind these pretty eyes are some pretty messed up corneas... or whatever it is that causes horrible vision. LOL I am actually considered legally blind, if I wanted I could get a handicapped parking thing... AND NO MAKING FUN MS. OOMPA LOOMPA. Oh yes, I called you out! :-P Anyways, I guess that's what I get complimented on the most these days. LOL
Day 10- Something you need to let go, or wish you didn't know.
I wish I could let go of the crap me and my mother have gone through. I hate that we have a non-existent relationship and that I'm stuck living with her for the time being. I left for California hating her and never wanting to see her again. Well, I'm back home and it's not as bad as it once was. I really do think she has early signs of Alzheimer's and that, along with a drinking problem, adds a lot of tension. The best thing I can do is avoid her, and I do that as often as possible. Here's to hoping things can get better from here. I've made sure to have an open mind and look towards the future rather than our past, but it'd be a lot easier if the past wasn't there.
Day 7- Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Well, cliche again, but my friends and most of my family. My real friends have proven to me that they're here for the long haul. Through the good and the bad they've helped me through it. My family, they're crazy, loud, and some of them can be a pain but where would I be without them.
Day 08 - Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
One person: Jarred. I thought I was in love, but I was so wrong. I put him before the most important people in my life and lost one of them in that process. I've wished I could turn back time and still do. What I went through brought me to where I am now, but I still ache that I lost my best friend of 10 years.
Day 09 - Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Courtney. I lost her to the person above. We drifted apart. The reason? Boys. I hate it! We promised each other we wouldn't let it happen. We grew up imagining marrying twins and living next door to each other. We were going to have kids at the same age and be in the delivery room together! (Yes, we were like 7 so it's not like we knew it wouldn't work that way) We planned our dream weddings and spent pretty much every minute we could together. It's a shame when a girl has to lose her best friend. It's not fair and, in my opinion, it was the worst heartbreak I've ever had to suffer. I still miss her and I still wish we were as close as we used to be.
Day 6- Something you hope you never have to do.
I hope I never have to bury my husband or one of my children. Of course, burying my husband may have to come eventually, but not before he turns 90, please! As for my kids, NOBODY should EVER have to bury one of their children. That is absolutely one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to do. It aches my heart to hear about it and I've known so many mothers and fathers who've had to do it. I don't ever want to know what it truly feels like.
Day 5- Something you hope to do in your life.
I know it's cliche, but I hope to succeed. I've put off the beginning of my life to be with someone and I now worry I won't ever succeed in what I want to do. He's moving on and excelling in school, while I'm still stuck waiting. I kind of resent that, in a way, but I know his schooling will take less time than mine, so it's best that he goes first. I also want to be in one place and not have to change schools at all, because, from what I've heard, it's a hassle. I hope I can go back to school and get through it easy and happily. And I hope to get high enough in my class to be offered jobs and such as soon as I get out. I know so many people who go to college for 4 years and graduate never finding a job that uses their degree. This economy sucks, and it just scares me to know that I could put so much time, money, an effort into something only to fail.
Day 4- Something you have to forgive someone else for.
I can't really remember anything I need to forgive someone else for, it's more that I need to just move on from it. I struggle more with letting things go more than forgiving people. Once someone breaks my trust of something, it's VERY hard for me to let that go and allow them to gain my trust again. I think it's from all that's happened in the past with boyfriends, friends, and family. All the falling outs and fights have made me extremely standoff-ish and I need to learn to let go and move on from it. It's a process for me, but I'm getting there. It'll take time to fully move on from certain things that've happened, but I've definitely forgiven the persons for what they've done.
Day 3- Something you have to forgive yourself for.
I don't really have much of anything I need to forgive myself for. I've done a lot of stupid things in the past, but I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't regret a single thing. Every action I've taken since I was born is what makes me who I am. Sure, there's some things that didn't have to happen, but without them I just wouldn't be me.
Day 2- Something you love about yourself.
I love that, for the most part, I'm more mature than most of the people my age. I've actually had some of Chris's friends (older than me) ask me for my I.D. to prove that I was younger than they thought. I love that I can be around older people and I don't act like a stupid little high schooler all the time. Most people my age are going through the clubs and partying all the time, some probably have STDs, or are just failing at life. I'm married and on a right track for myself and growing family (husband and in a few years kids). It's hard growing up sometimes. You can never really consider yourself and adult until you're out on your own and paying bills without help from mom and dad, age has nothing to do with it. All you 18 year olds out there screaming to your parents "I'm an adult, I do what I want.." you have another thing coming when you move out of their basement and actually have a life of your own where you don't have to answer to them anymore. It's a crazy ride, but pretty fun!
Day 1- Something that you hate about yourself.
Something that I hate... I can only name ONE thing? I hate a lot of things about me, of course, I love a lot of things about me, but we'll get to that tomorrow. I guess I'll go with the fact that I feel. I hate that I have emotions, my life would be so much easier without them... except for love and happiness, I'd like to keep those. I wish we could pick and choose what kind of emotions we wanted, but I guess that would make our lives pretty close to perfect though, huh? Sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me and most of the time they end up coming back to bite me in the butt. Though I don't have certain emotions without being provoked, they still cause a lot of heartache a lot of the time. My life would just be better if I didn't care about a lot of things.
I stole this from a blog I just started reading, Loving, Living, and Learning. It seems like fun so I decided to do it! Most likely Sunday through Friday I'll be able to keep up but Saturdays, since my hubs is home I'll probably miss. I'll make sure to do double on Friday or Sunday, though. Feel free to steal form me, if you wish.
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 – Something you have to forgive someone else for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
